Where Did It Go
© Evan Schnalle 26-3-2006

We received the eviction notice that our landlord had sent,
Gees it was annoying making room for new development.
serious house hunting was needed for a place of our own,
we’d been doing without for years to save for a home loan.
We sussed out every cheap house in town we could afford to buy,
through the ceiling of one “handy man’s dream” you could see the sky.
When we saw a big Queenslander we thought we’d love to live here,
the only problem was the mortgage payments would be too dear.

Then the missus said “We could rent out the rooms we’re not using,”
we told our estate agent this is the one that we’re choosing.
After we found ourselves some house mates who seemed very pleasant,
we chucked some steaks on the barby as a house warming present
The barby was such a hit we thought we’d have more of the same,
and our life was pretty good until our first power bill came.
But it seemed to me that the power fee was extremely large,
I thought I‘d ask the power mob about their excessive charge.

When I called them they reckoned their tests showed the amount was right
so I was forced to call an emergency meeting that night.
I said “Look we really have to watch how we use our power,
and to start with we could spend less time when taking a shower.”
I suggested that three minutes should do to make us feel sprite,
by just doing that we’d save a lot of power every night.
Then the missus said “we could have less barbies on the weekend,”
I said “I s’pose there’d be less hung over Sundays on the mend.”

Even though most people in our house didn’t like these restraints.
they seemed to work well for a while so there weren’t many complaints,
The next electricity bill we got was still way too high,
I was really perplexed ‘cause there wasn’t any reason why.
And you could’a decked me with a feather when I had a glance,
‘cause the figure was so big it put me straight into a trance.
Then a couple of burley coppers knocked on our front door,
which I thought was odd cause I’m sure I hadn’t broken the law.

“G’Day, mate I’m Sergeant Johnson and I’d like to speak to Phil,”
and when I breathed a sigh of relief I dropped the power bill.
as he picked the bill up I told him we’d only just moved in,
“Gees mate you use some power.” he said with a wiry grin.
I said “Yeah we’ve already cut back on everything we can,
but it seems that hasn’t worked so we’ll have to make a new plan.”
He asked if they could look around the place and I said “Sure mate,
but you won’t find anything wrong here, see we’re all pretty straight.”

After they’d searched the house for this Phil bloke without finding a clue,
the sarge asked “can I look in the roof space?” so I went up too.
Well, as I looked through the manhole I could not believe my eyes
I almost fell off the aluminium ladder with surprise
There was a hydroponic system with hoses and sunlamps,
electric timers on switches and hoses fitted with clamps.
There were some huge marijuana plants growing in bath tubs,
the drippers and lamps started up and cultivated the shrubs.

See the bloke who used to live in the house had been growing drugs,
and making a tidy profit selling them to local thugs.
This hydroponic system is what’s been using our power,
and it’s not the fact the missus spent two hours in the shower.
We fixed our money problems as far as those power bills go,
the police took the plants and we stopped the electrical flow.
Now the house hold’s normal but don’t visit us on the weekend,
‘cause with barbies on Saturdays we spend Sundays on the mend.